Keep your Relationship & Marriage Lively and Secured

Sexuality is not about who you have sex with, or how often you have it. Sexuality is about your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviors towards other people. You can find other people physically, sexually, or emotionally attractive, and all those things are a part of your sexuality. Sexuality is diverse and personal, and it is an important part of whom you are. Discovering your sexuality can be a very liberating, exciting, and positive experience. 
Some people experience discrimination due to their sexuality. If someone gives you a hard time about your sexuality, it’s good to talk to someone about it.

16 Amazing Ways to spice up your Sex Life

  1. Sexting

While most ‘sexy’ text messages have about as much appeal as a dry-hump, there is indeed a way that you can make them work. Don’t go all X-Rated on your innocent iPhone, but try instead texting her about a memorable time you had sex – ‘I can’t stop thinking about that time on the beach in Mexico’ ought to do the trick. Or a similar, innuendo-ridden one-liner that’s personal to the two of you. Insert relevant time & place before she thinks you’re cheating

  1. Master the art of the ‘quickie’

We’re not talking mid-dishwasher loading or in the midst of an argument over taking out the bins, but don’t underestimate the impact of the element of surprise. If your sex life is more akin to attending double history on a Friday afternoon at school, than it is 50 Shades of Grey, it might be time to add some surprise. Grab her the moment you walk through the door after work, or even when she’s just stepped out of the shower. She’ll thank you later.

  1. Roleplay

Nothing embarrassing, but this really can be the best way to spice up your sex life.  Tell her what you want to do or indeed who you want to be and ask her what she wants.  Then all you need to do is set it up – from meeting at a bar with different names to playing it safe at home with a bit of ‘dress up’, this is guaranteed to get things back on track in the bedroom.

  1. The Gift of Giving

We’re not saying you have to spend a fortune (although she probably wouldn’t complain if you did), but leave a beautifully wrapped box at the end of her bed for when she gets home with lingerie inside is sure to put the fire back into the bedroom.  Alternatively, send flowers to her office with a suggestive note and you’ll be on her mind all day.

  1. Leave your partner a Reminder

If your sex life is becoming predictable, try spritzing her bedsheets with your aftershave when you leave in the morning, or even better if you’re out of town for a few days.  Smell is proven to be the biggest evocation of the memory of all our senses, a little reminder of what she has to look forward to will keep things fresh.

  1. Explore New Areas

Sex should be a discovery, not a destination. Explore new areas and regions to find optimum sensation central – from the base of her spine to ears and neck.

  1. Fantasy

If you’ve ever had a fantasy about sex (and what self-respecting man hasn’t?) then a sexual rut is the perfect time to make the fantasy a reality.

  1. Add a Little Danger

Adrenaline is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs there is. Bungy-jumping, rock-climbing, or even just sex in a public place where you might get caught is enough to bid farewell to every couples dry spell.

  1. Go ‘toy-shopping’ together

No, not for god-children or siblings, we’re talking grown-up shopping.  It doesn’t have to be the Soho kind of shop, you can keep it to on-line if you like, but a little added fun in the bedroom is no bad thing.

  1. Lay down some Rules

If your social or working calendars are so jam-packed that sex has become as rare as a stylish mullet then maybe it’s time to lay down the rules. Pick in a night in your calendar and make sure you both keep it free, maybe turn it into an entire date night – book a restaurant or have a car collect you both.

  1. Create a sexual bucket list.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are good that one of you has mentioned a fantasy or two. It’s time to make some of those a reality. Next time you’re out to dinner or hanging out at home, lay down the challenge to write down five things you’d each want to try sexually. Then, swap lists, see what you had in common, and pick some things you’re both willing to try.

  1. Add some kink to your routine.

“Talk about ways you each would feel comfortable including pleasurable pain, bondage, new gadgets, or role-plays into your relationship,” Watson says. “Go to a sex store and pick out some items to try.”

  1. Shop for sex toys together

Just the activity of going to a sex toy store and shopping for them together could be a fun activity for a couple to try. Some sex toy products like pipedream fantasy and Jimmyjane are very nice for this activity.

  1. Try new things together both inside and outside the bedroom.

Our sex lives get stale because we fall into routines that include the everyday things we do together. “Create new shared experiences by making an effort to try new things together. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, going snowboarding for the first time, or taking a walk around a part of your town you’ve never been, breaking the routine can lead to renewed intimacy.”

  1. Create the optimal sexual environment for yourself.

Scalisi says creating “the right context for the most intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex” for her was the key to spicing up her sex life. “Reflecting on past sexual experiences that were oh-so-pleasurable taught me what works and doesn’t. For example, I have the best sex when my stress is low, after a long luxurious back rub, and when I’m feeling in love with my body — to name a few things.”

  1. Try mutual masturbation.

Scalisi calls mutual masturbation her “secret sexy weapon.” “It is so damn hot to watch each other self-pleasure, plus it takes less time than other forms of partner sex.”

  1. See a sex therapist.

Watson says if a sexual lull persists, sex therapy is always an option for you and your partner to discover deeper reasons behind sexual issues and, in turn, find ways to address them.

Quality Tips & Ingredients about Good Sex Life

Every healthy sexual relationship requires constant communication. It is important to focus on both your needs and the needs of your partner. It’s a good idea to be open about what your needs are and to always keep the communication open.

If you want to ask for less sex, you might try emphasizing their attributes to suggest new ideas. Appeal to your partner’s interests and form a new activity or date around it that the both of you will enjoy.

Asking for more or less sex can bring up vulnerabilities. Sexual preferences should be easy to talk about because they ultimately lead to your pleasure, but they’re often difficult to discuss because we fear judgment.

Some people don’t want to be perceived as too sexual because they want more sex. Others might worry that asking for less sex could imply that their partner isn’t doing something right. Incorporate your concerns about yourself into the discussion. Talking about sex works best as a two-way conversation.


Remember that both parties should be consenting to have sex. Just because you are having sexual relations with your long-term partner doesn’t mean consent has been given. If you ever feel sexually coerced by a partner, or forced to have sex or be touched in a way you don’t want to, know that your healthcare providers are always ready to help you. You can talk to your doctor or a social worker about any concern you have.

Respectfully discovering likes and dislikes

Talking about how touches, nuances, and even fantasies of sex could progress is less straightforward than talking about STIs, birth control, or frequency of sex.

Sexual likes and dislikes can run on a spectrum. There are activities you love, ones you can’t even think about, and all the stuff in between. And what happens to things that you haven’t even heard of yet? Or when your desires change? Communicating such intimate needs requires a high level of confidence and trust. At the same time, communication builds confidence and trust.

Think about what you would be comfortable with and what things you would be uncomfortable with. Remember you can always change your mind. Communicating these things with your partner helps keep things open. Talk to a healthcare provider if you are worried something you want to try could be physically or sexually dangerous.

Opening up the conversation

Sometimes, we’re hampered by a lack of language. “One of the barriers for communication is that the language is either really goofy-sounding or clinical,” It’s helpful to start from the perspective of pleasure and affection. Carli Blau points out, “Two partners who are sexually involved with one another ultimately want to pleasure each other.”

Use movies to start conversations and explore

Consider tapping into erotic stimulation from entertainment, if you still can’t find the words or time to say what you want. “Watching movies is a great way to facilitate conversations with your partner “For example, if you’d like to add a bit of kink in your bedroom, an easy way to bring it up with your partner is to watch a movie together that features it.”

Where and when to talk

In addition to getting the words in the right order, many relationship experts point out that where and when you have intimate conversations is important.

Talking about sex after sex may come across as criticizing or nitpicking. Talking beforehand might get you uptight about delivering just exactly what your partner wants. When the time is right, I suggest giving your partner a heads-up that your topic might be a little out of the ordinary.

Communications basics

Respect and feeling respected are key aspects of a relationship. Using so-called I-statements is a communication technique that helps emphasize the speaker’s experience, without shaming, blaming, or complaining about the other person.

Some examples:
  • “I notice we seem to be having less foreplay before we have sex. Can we talk about ways to spend more time making out first?”
  • “I really liked it when you were on top of me. Is there anything I can do to get more of that?”


The longer a relationship has been going on, the more likely your sex life is to suffer.  just around the corner, we’ve come up with a few simple ways that you and your partner can spice things up. No Matter the circumstances with regards to human sexuality in the society today, sexual lulls are normal even for the most passionate couples and they can actually be a good thing. Spicing up your sex life can improve your relationship with your partner and result in a host of health benefits. “Sex is an aerobic activity, which means it can boost your heart health.


  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn

Don’t miss more of these!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This