11 Important Factors that Destroy a Relationship/Marriage
Relationships can be very sweet, wonderful, and worth dying for. It is promising if it is flourishing. It makes the parties involved both happy and fulfilled. But how about when it is sour? When you guys can hardly hug each other. How about the parties that you guys used to go together and every other thing you did together? Of course, there are important factors that destroy a relationship/marriage.
The next thing that follows is questions, how did a relationship that proved fulfilling just turned sour and nasty? – How you went from being crazily in love with someone to being indifferent.
It is pertinent to note that love is not just enough because so many people have made such a mistake in their relationship/marriage. Love leads and can bow out if not treated with much sensitivity. So many are crazily in love but their relationships have not been the best of all.
Now, love is very important but it requires other elements in order to flourish, else it may die a natural death.
This lovely article discusses, in detail, the 11 important factors that destroy a relationship/marriage. The relevance of this is that with the knowledge and awareness of these elements that hamper relationships, one can build his/her relationship against loopholes. Also, for those in a negative relationship, this can also be of help. At least, you can point out what or why your relationship is in such a state.
For those also whose relationships have been destroyed, you can also figure out between you both.
11 Important Factors that Destroys a Relationship/Marriage
Absence of Love
The first of the list is Love. Love is like two hearts beating as one. If there is no love in a relationship, and there is no possibility of one, there can obviously be no possibility of a successful relationship. You have to decipher if your spouse is truly in love with you.
You don’t have to force someone to love you when all they want to do is to use you. Of course, you can try to make someone love you. But Hey! Always lookout. It is very not advisable and healthy to be in a relationship with someone who does not love. A relationship devoid of love will surely die a natural death.
Absence of Loving
Love and loving are two different things. Love consists in a feeling whereas loving consists in giving love. They are two separate things. You don’t just love someone and stuck up in your heart. There is a need to show your love as always as possible. In a relationship, love should be expressed for the other party to know and feel it.
Communication plays a super role in a relationship. It reassures. It draws spouses closer. Lack of communication destroys a relationship and keep the spouses distant from each other. A perfect relationship is one built around no secrets.
Tell each other everything ranging from the good to the bad to the dirty to the nasty. If you have reached this stage in a relationship, then Congratulations! Lack of secrets brings about vulnerability and reliability as well as security and trust. Don’t joke with it. Lest I forget, women love deep talking.
Men enjoy the love of their lives while sharing their problems with them. Effective communication is very paramount in a relationship. Did your spouse do something that you are not alright with? Then, why not point it out, discuss it out with him or her and not just swallow it and keep getting hurt.
By so doing, such an act can be corrected, you get to know your spouse better and healthier, the relationship is fostered. If for example, on the bed your man is not getting it right, don’t be shy to say what you want. He is not God and he never can know what is in your head.
Respect is very imperative. In fact, a relationship without mutual respect is bound to crash. Men for instance love respect. The women should not fail to give that. The woman should learn to massage the ego of her spouse.
He will surely love to be in charge or dominate a relationship, it is Okay, but they should learn to honor their women also. There must be respect for opinions, non-divulging of secrets, etc. for a relationship to grow. Also, there must be respect for wants and desire, respect for personality, respect for religion, etc.
In a relationship, the lovers are required to be open to each other. Lack of openness strains a relationship Don’t hide anything from your partner. Voice it out no matter how difficult it is or how bad the situation is. One thing to consider here, always know the best time to be very open to your partner. This entails that there is the best time for such an activity as it is not advised to voice out some sensitive things when your partner is not in a good mood.
Fakeness (Not Being Real)
A relationship started on fake background and lies, has not been built on a solid foundation and hence can crumble at any time. In a relationship, one doesn’t have to fake anything. In this contemporary time, many people fake their hips, breast, dick, and some other fakable parts of the body.
Again, you don’t have to present yourself as a virgin just to impress a man whereas you are not. You don’t have to borrow a house or cars and say it is yours just to send a message to a woman. One day it will surely blow up. There is a need for self-confidence and content with what you have. If your spouse will like you, it’s fine, if not, it’s okay.
Don’t go becoming something you are not. Be yourself; present yourself as you are. You don’t have to change your personality or dressing for someone. A relationship started on illusion is bound to fail. It will bring about discomfort and distrust.
Lack of Trust
If you are having trust issues with your spouse, then too bad. Trust, apart from love, binds a relationship and secures it from a third party. If you don’t trust your spouse, someone can walk up and say nonsense about your spouse and you believe and act without good verification.
If one doesn’t trust you, the person won’t like you to work for him/her. The same applies to a relationship. Lack of trust brings about confusion. There is this joy that comes with knowing that someone trusts you even while you are away. But, if trust is not there, then it is disastrous. There will be no need for suspicion and pickiness.
Unforgiveness and ego may be a small one, but if not careful destroys a relationship slowly. If you are angry with your spouse over an issue, don’t let it extend for too long, it can do more harm than good.
Ego can poison a relationship. Ego can make one not to deeply apologize when he/she is wrong to his/her lover. When lovers are having the issue of saying sorry to each other or humbling themselves before their lover, it is then a very big problem. It must be recalled that Love is not boastful.
One biggest killer of relationships is involving or inviting a third party into a relationship. In a relationship, it should be just you and your spouse – two to make one and not three or four. The decision both of you make should stay with you. People come with both jealousy, envy, and different contradicting opinions and reservations and so bring in another into your relationship affair or matrimonial affairs is a no-no. it may not go down well.
Now, this is a very huge one. While the rest can be ironed out or resolved, cheating and continuous cheating may not. Cheating infringes on the promise lovers made to themselves. Nobody wants to be cheated on an that is why there is always the feeling of jealously when one is in love with someone.
Cheating is not faithfulness. It brings about disappointment. Cheating, especially in the aspect of sex, can be very outrageous and can destroy a relationship if not stopped. It hurts and pains. The individual cheated on feels heart-broken and embittered.
The last on the list is sex! Wow, no matter how you look and dismiss this element, it is very necessary in a relationship/marriage. Sex is refreshing. Now, this view may be relative as some do not entertain sex in their relationship, or for some that are single, it may be seen as fornication and being cheap.
But hey! For married couples, it is something you should constantly be doing for a healthier relationship. Sex has a way of getting people together, binding people together, and making people closer and couples closest.
Sex is a soul tie. It is like tying souls with your love. Sex with a lover can be very wonderful. If you don’t do it then, hey watch out your spouse may be getting satisfied outside and you know what that means.
Keep in mind that good sex is a good life. So, do always and every time, anywhere, anyhow, it ties.