by Nonso Amadi | Jun 24, 2020 | Articles, Learn, Relationship
Keep your Relationship & Marriage Lively and Secured
Sexuality is not about who you have sex with, or how often you have it. Sexuality is about your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviors towards other people. You can find other people physically, sexually, or emotionally attractive, and all those things are a part of your sexuality. Sexuality is diverse and personal, and it is an important part of whom you are. Discovering your sexuality can be a very liberating, exciting, and positive experience.
Some people experience discrimination due to their sexuality. If someone gives you a hard time about your sexuality, it’s good to talk to someone about it.
16 Amazing Ways to spice up your Sex Life
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Sexting
While most ‘sexy’ text messages have about as much appeal as a dry-hump, there is indeed a way that you can make them work. Don’t go all X-Rated on your innocent iPhone, but try instead texting her about a memorable time you had sex – ‘I can’t stop thinking about that time on the beach in Mexico’ ought to do the trick. Or a similar, innuendo-ridden one-liner that’s personal to the two of you. Insert relevant time & place before she thinks you’re cheating
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Master the art of the ‘quickie’
We’re not talking mid-dishwasher loading or in the midst of an argument over taking out the bins, but don’t underestimate the impact of the element of surprise. If your sex life is more akin to attending double history on a Friday afternoon at school, than it is 50 Shades of Grey, it might be time to add some surprise. Grab her the moment you walk through the door after work, or even when she’s just stepped out of the shower. She’ll thank you later.
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Roleplay
Nothing embarrassing, but this really can be the best way to spice up your sex life. Tell her what you want to do or indeed who you want to be and ask her what she wants. Then all you need to do is set it up – from meeting at a bar with different names to playing it safe at home with a bit of ‘dress up’, this is guaranteed to get things back on track in the bedroom.
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The Gift of Giving
We’re not saying you have to spend a fortune (although she probably wouldn’t complain if you did), but leave a beautifully wrapped box at the end of her bed for when she gets home with lingerie inside is sure to put the fire back into the bedroom. Alternatively, send flowers to her office with a suggestive note and you’ll be on her mind all day.
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Leave your partner a Reminder
If your sex life is becoming predictable, try spritzing her bedsheets with your aftershave when you leave in the morning, or even better if you’re out of town for a few days. Smell is proven to be the biggest evocation of the memory of all our senses, a little reminder of what she has to look forward to will keep things fresh.
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Explore New Areas
Sex should be a discovery, not a destination. Explore new areas and regions to find optimum sensation central – from the base of her spine to ears and neck.
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Fantasy
If you’ve ever had a fantasy about sex (and what self-respecting man hasn’t?) then a sexual rut is the perfect time to make the fantasy a reality.
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Add a Little Danger
Adrenaline is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs there is. Bungy-jumping, rock-climbing, or even just sex in a public place where you might get caught is enough to bid farewell to every couples dry spell.
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Go ‘toy-shopping’ together
No, not for god-children or siblings, we’re talking grown-up shopping. It doesn’t have to be the Soho kind of shop, you can keep it to on-line if you like, but a little added fun in the bedroom is no bad thing.
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Lay down some Rules
If your social or working calendars are so jam-packed that sex has become as rare as a stylish mullet then maybe it’s time to lay down the rules. Pick in a night in your calendar and make sure you both keep it free, maybe turn it into an entire date night – book a restaurant or have a car collect you both.
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Create a sexual bucket list.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are good that one of you has mentioned a fantasy or two. It’s time to make some of those a reality. Next time you’re out to dinner or hanging out at home, lay down the challenge to write down five things you’d each want to try sexually. Then, swap lists, see what you had in common, and pick some things you’re both willing to try.
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Add some kink to your routine.
“Talk about ways you each would feel comfortable including pleasurable pain, bondage, new gadgets, or role-plays into your relationship,” Watson says. “Go to a sex store and pick out some items to try.”
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Shop for sex toys together
Just the activity of going to a sex toy store and shopping for them together could be a fun activity for a couple to try. Some sex toy products like pipedream fantasy and Jimmyjane are very nice for this activity.
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Try new things together both inside and outside the bedroom.
Our sex lives get stale because we fall into routines that include the everyday things we do together. “Create new shared experiences by making an effort to try new things together. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, going snowboarding for the first time, or taking a walk around a part of your town you’ve never been, breaking the routine can lead to renewed intimacy.”
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Create the optimal sexual environment for yourself.
Scalisi says creating “the right context for the most intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex” for her was the key to spicing up her sex life. “Reflecting on past sexual experiences that were oh-so-pleasurable taught me what works and doesn’t. For example, I have the best sex when my stress is low, after a long luxurious back rub, and when I’m feeling in love with my body — to name a few things.”
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Try mutual masturbation.
Scalisi calls mutual masturbation her “secret sexy weapon.” “It is so damn hot to watch each other self-pleasure, plus it takes less time than other forms of partner sex.”
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See a sex therapist.
Watson says if a sexual lull persists, sex therapy is always an option for you and your partner to discover deeper reasons behind sexual issues and, in turn, find ways to address them.
Quality Tips & Ingredients about Good Sex Life
Every healthy sexual relationship requires constant communication. It is important to focus on both your needs and the needs of your partner. It’s a good idea to be open about what your needs are and to always keep the communication open./GettyImages-590173427-8b3029fc0b6d4b1d8cefd5604fb35c34.jpg)
If you want to ask for less sex, you might try emphasizing their attributes to suggest new ideas. Appeal to your partner’s interests and form a new activity or date around it that the both of you will enjoy.
Asking for more or less sex can bring up vulnerabilities. Sexual preferences should be easy to talk about because they ultimately lead to your pleasure, but they’re often difficult to discuss because we fear judgment.
Some people don’t want to be perceived as too sexual because they want more sex. Others might worry that asking for less sex could imply that their partner isn’t doing something right. Incorporate your concerns about yourself into the discussion. Talking about sex works best as a two-way conversation.
Consent
Remember that both parties should be consenting to have sex. Just because you are having sexual relations with your long-term partner doesn’t mean consent has been given. If you ever feel sexually coerced by a partner, or forced to have sex or be touched in a way you don’t want to, know that your healthcare providers are always ready to help you. You can talk to your doctor or a social worker about any concern you have.
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Respectfully discovering likes and dislikes
Talking about how touches, nuances, and even fantasies of sex could progress is less straightforward than talking about STIs, birth control, or frequency of sex.
Sexual likes and dislikes can run on a spectrum. There are activities you love, ones you can’t even think about, and all the stuff in between. And what happens to things that you haven’t even heard of yet? Or when your desires change? Communicating such intimate needs requires a high level of confidence and trust. At the same time, communication builds confidence and trust.
Think about what you would be comfortable with and what things you would be uncomfortable with. Remember you can always change your mind. Communicating these things with your partner helps keep things open. Talk to a healthcare provider if you are worried something you want to try could be physically or sexually dangerous.
Opening up the conversation
Sometimes, we’re hampered by a lack of language. “One of the barriers for communication is that the language is either really goofy-sounding or clinical,” It’s helpful to start from the perspective of pleasure and affection. Carli Blau points out, “Two partners who are sexually involved with one another ultimately want to pleasure each other.”
Use movies to start conversations and explore
Consider tapping into erotic stimulation from entertainment, if you still can’t find the words or time to say what you want. “Watching movies is a great way to facilitate conversations with your partner “For example, if you’d like to add a bit of kink in your bedroom, an easy way to bring it up with your partner is to watch a movie together that features it.”
Where and when to talk
In addition to getting the words in the right order, many relationship experts point out that where and when you have intimate conversations is important.
Talking about sex after sex may come across as criticizing or nitpicking. Talking beforehand might get you uptight about delivering just exactly what your partner wants. When the time is right, I suggest giving your partner a heads-up that your topic might be a little out of the ordinary.
Communications basics
Respect and feeling respected are key aspects of a relationship. Using so-called I-statements is a communication technique that helps emphasize the speaker’s experience, without shaming, blaming, or complaining about the other person.
Some examples:
- “I notice we seem to be having less foreplay before we have sex. Can we talk about ways to spend more time making out first?”
- “I really liked it when you were on top of me. Is there anything I can do to get more of that?”
Conclusion
The longer a relationship has been going on, the more likely your sex life is to suffer. just around the corner, we’ve come up with a few simple ways that you and your partner can spice things up. No Matter the circumstances with regards to human sexuality in the society today, sexual lulls are normal even for the most passionate couples and they can actually be a good thing. Spicing up your sex life can improve your relationship with your partner and result in a host of health benefits. “Sex is an aerobic activity, which means it can boost your heart health.
by Nonso Amadi | Jun 23, 2020 | Articles, Learn, Relationship
There are many gifts in the world, but there are some gifts with great significance and value for a better sex life. In this enticing article, there is a focus on the importance of gifts for a better sex life, as well as expose you to the gifts with deep significance for a better sex life.
Introduction
Gifts are a surprisingly complex and important part of human interaction, helping to define relationships and strengthen bonds with family and friends. Gift is a universal way to show gratitude, interest, and strengthen bonds among people. Gifts occupy a crucial place in our social life. They build our relationships with people. We have a tendency to exchange gifts with people on totally different festivals, events, etc. Gifts speak our love for one alternative. Some gifts are given simply out of fabric issues. A subordinate might provide a gift to his officers to win his favour.
The Importance of Gifts for a Better Sex Life
Our faith attaches nice importance to the exchange of gifts. However, the gifts given as felony don’t increase love. They’re the expression of our egotistical nature. They’re given to derive some material profit. Real gifts are the expression of our inner goodness and sincerity.
The selection of gifts is an art. Hence our gifts should represent 2 things. First, they need to fulfill the requirements of our friends and relatives. Second, they need to be a creation of ourselves. They need to be part of our nature. Different artistic gifts become a vicinity of the memory of the one who receives.
Gifts are token of life, trust, and love. They play a crucial role in creating love for each other. The giving of gifts wake up the surface of all sensible qualities that we tend to possess. They create us humble and facilitate us in shedding off our pride and self-importance.
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Holiday Gifts that enhance a Better Sex Life
If you’re not sure which way to go in offering gifts during the holiday season let me help you out: Sexy holiday gifts practically guarantee that whatever you give your partner will make him or her feel good and come back to you if there is a misunderstanding. And if you’re showering a friend with little something by helping them feel like a sex goddess is a sure-fire way to heat up their holiday season.
Think about it: Everyone wants to feel desired, so when your significant other unwraps a gift that screams “I want you”—even if it’s one they thought they’d never use—your love life is sure to be as lit as that Christmas tree (or Hanukkah menorah). And if it’s your bestie or close cousin? You’re giving them something they want but don’t want to buy themselves.
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Kiiroo Onyx 2
This is a very nice gift for a better sex life. When you are miles apart from your significant other, the distance can put a strain on your relationship. Kiiroo has created the solution to your problem. The Kiiroo Couple Set 2 was designed to ease the distance and close the gap, because who wouldn’t like to feel their lover’s intimate touch when they are away? Both devices are equipped with Kiiroo Technology that allows you to feel every movement made on your device.
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Rocks Off
Indulge the senses with each potent vibration of this stunningly beautiful pleasure collection as you and your lover explore the heights of seductive passion. Fall head over heels again and again as your body tingles with pure orgasmic delight as you fall truly madly, deeply in love. If your friend is perpetually single or going through a recent breakup (aw), brighten up her holiday season with this sexiest gift of them all: a toy that mimics cunnilingus.
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Rocks Off Enchanted
This product is very unique and regarded as the deep desire of passion toy. For those who like it sweet with happy ending Rocks off is the best for you. But it for your partner for sensual satisfaction.
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A Finger Vibrators
It wouldn’t be a gift guide without a mention of this bad boy. The Fin is the perfect vibrator for people who want a little toy play while being penetrated since it slips right onto your finger. Buy one for yourself or your sister, work wife, friend who has trouble reaching orgasm from sex alone.
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Pink Duo Dildo
Pink double dildo with a handy has a suction cup. The vaginal arm has slight glans and the anal arm has a rounded head. The slightly flat dildo is extremely fulfilling, very flexible, and has a stimulating groove on the shaft.
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King Cock Double Flesh
Every vein, every shaft, and every head is carefully handcrafted with exquisite detail to give you the most realistic experience ever imagined. It is phthalate-free, latex-free, body-safe, and hypoallergenic. One of the dongs has a 4-inch circumference and 3 inches on the other. It’s super flexible and realistic looking and will penetrate both orifices with ease. . Buy one for yourself or your stylish friend who’ll squeal with delight by her new accessory toy.
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Trouble Black Dildo
Do you want your first dildo to look and feel just like the rock-hard stud you’ve always fantasized about? Stop dreaming and get down with the King. Every vein, every shaft, and every head is carefully handcrafted with exquisite detail to give you the most realistic experience ever imagined. King Cock Medium Double Trouble U shaped dildo is perfect for double penetration.
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Matching Lingerie
Lingerie isn’t just for cis women This incredible UK product makes underwear to accommodate all types of genitals, so you can get matching sets for both you and your partner. If lace isn’t your thing, mesh might be the way to go.
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A Nipple and Clit Clamp Necklace
Sexy body chain or nipple clamp? Trick question! This pretty little number from Unbound actually does both. It’s plated in 14K gold, so it’ll take every outfit up a notch. And it doubles as a nipple and clitoris clamp—complete with adjustable pressure options.
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A Sex Pillow
Help your shy friend take things up a notch by giving them a special sex pillow. They can use it to elevate their hips while experimenting with new sex positions (for deeper penetration) or lean on it for support during more intricate moves.
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A Couples Vibrator
This little guy is OH-so-great for both the giver and the receiver. The insertable vibrator pairs with an app and remote control that your partner can use to his or her delight, plus slides into the vagina during sex to tickle both parties.
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Inya Play Toy Kit
Playtime is always better with INYA Play Things, a provocative and vibrant collection of high-end pleasure products! This must-have kit includes realistically moulded 5-inch silicone dildo with strong suction cup base, powerful 5-inch ABS vibrator, and stylish, slim-tapered 3-inch silicone pleasure plug.
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Nonsticky Lube
In search of something a little smaller to keep at bae’s? Nice silicone lube is the stuff of sex dreams—including anal, btw—especially when it doesn’t dry up or create a sticky situation. This is the sexy equivalent t0 body wash and deodorant stocking stuffers.
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Black Remote Panty Vibe
Secret Vibrating Panty Set puts the power of pleasure at your fingertips with a powerful vibrating bullet that fits discreetly into a side-tie lace panty to keep it in place. This sexy and subtle mini vibe is powered by a clever remote control that looks like an ordinary finger ring and makes it easy for couples to play in public, even up to 50 feet away. Slip the bullet into the panties convenient little pocket and enjoy powerful stimulation directly on her sweet spot. The remote control makes it easy to shuffle through 10 different vibration functions that tease, please, and titillate with the touch of a button. Watch her squirm and quiver from across the room or match the My Secret Vibrating Panty Set with any lingerie set for an especially sexy night in. Discreet enough to wear under clothing while out on the town, this clever sex toy lets couples experiment with public pleasure and spice up date night with a naughty twist.
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A Satin Nightie
Satin Nightie
After a romp in the sheets, one of the greatest feelings is throwing on silky pajamas. And there’s a good chance this takes on the trendy slip dress which will satisfy that. It offers a little peek to what’s underneath with the added bonus of feeling silky smooth—which is basically like being touched all over again. Gift it to a pal who needs some extra pampering this holiday season.
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Fancy Massage Oil
For the nights (or mornings or afternoons) when you want to take your time easing into sex with a massage is clutch. Nothing screams intimacy like the sexy gift of slow and gentle touching—especially when luxe and lavish massage oil is involved.
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A Cool Cock Ring
A cock ring that doesn’t look like a cock ring might be the way to go in the name of sexy holiday gifts. It’ll spice up every kind of penetration for each party (more fullness for you, vibration for both).
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A Moisture-Resistant Blanket
Sex is messy. Got a germ freak in your life? Gift them this blanket so they never have to fall asleep in those sexy juices again.
These nude thigh-high stockings elongate your legs and ooze serious sex appeal, so gift ’em to yourself and wear them under your work clothes (yes, they’re profesh enough!). They’ll all but guarantee a quickie when you walk in the door at home.
Conclusion
Gifts play a most important role in our life and it is depending on situations and gifting purposes. Did you know about happy feelings? I sure you know it. Well if you have love feelings for someone then you can take red flowers with heart shape chocolates but if you are a father of a lovely daughter then you know about your daughter. Gifts helping to maintain relation gaps, happiness, and somethings gifting moments change your life. Sometimes Your loved one wants some distance with you and it depends on many situations like you are hard or loud etc. You can gift for a loved one. I am sure a gift helps to forget every misunderstanding between both of you.
by Nonso Amadi | Jun 22, 2020 | Articles, Relationship
Fixing a High Sex Drive – Suggestive Remedies
It is very normal to have a sex drive, but when it is very high, there seems to be a problem. Have you wondered why you have a high sex drive just sometimes? Do you think it is abnormal? Well, just relax, in this amazing article, there are many effective remedies on how you can fix your high sex drive.
Introduction
A person who has extremely frequent or a suddenly increased sex drive may be experiencing hypersexuality, while the opposite condition is hyposexuality. A person may have a desire for sex, but not have the opportunity to act on that desire, or may on personal, moral, or religious reasons refrain from acting on the urge. A high sex drive potentially becomes a problem when it results in sexual activity that feels out of control, such as sexual compulsion. Sex drive is also known as libido and it is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Libido is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors.
Biologically, the sex hormones and associated neurotransmitters that act upon the nucleus accumbens (primarily testosterone and dopamine, respectively) regulate libido in humans. Social factors, such as work and family, and internal psychological factors, such as personality and stress, can affect libido. Libido can also be affected by medical conditions. Psychologically, a person’s urge can be repressed or sublimated. Conversely, a person can engage in sexual activity without an actual desire for it. Multiple factors affect human sex drive, including irritation, illness, pregnancy, and others.
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When is a High Sex drive a problem?
A high sex drive usually isn’t a problem if you do not feel ruled by your sexual urges or thoughts. If you have a high sex drive and are having all the satisfying sex you crave, then you might actually be rather pleased with it!
But you may struggle with your high sex drive if you experience any of the following:
✔ You are not able to achieve satisfaction, no matter how much sex or masturbation you have.
✔ You are not able to get the amount or type of sex you desire.
✔ You are troubled or shamed by persistent fantasies.
✔ You regularly sacrifice work, social, or sleep time for your sexual exploits.
✔ You have sore genitals from excessive sex or masturbation.
✔ You habitually seek out unsatisfactory or risky sexual exploits.
✔ You feel bad that your pursuit of sexual satisfaction prevents you from having a relationship.
How can I fix my high sex drive?
Dealing with an unwanted sex drive can be difficult and lead to uncomfortable feelings and situations. If you’re looking for ways to escape urges at the moment
If you are concerned that you have an overly high sex drive and looking for ways to escape the urges and fix it right, try the following tips:
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Talk about it
Whatever the cause, if you are not happy with your sex life, talking therapy can help you offload, explore thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires around sex, love, relationships, and beyond. Establishing what you want from your life in general and then working out realistic ways to get it can help you feel more in control and less at the mercy of your urges.
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Interrupt your urges
When I ask sexually compulsive clients if they have ever not acted on a sexual urge – whether it’s masturbating in the office loos or booking an appointment with a sex worker — they often say no. Understanding that sexual urges – much like cravings for cigarettes or cake – do pass if un-fuelled by yearning thoughts or actions, can be a revelation.
If you become aroused and you want to not act on your urges, here are a few things you can do:
✔ Try mental gymnastics, for example, practice your 26 times table.
✔ Focus on something else; search your surroundings for squares or anything blue.
✔ Refer to a list you’ve made about how great your partner is, or what you will gain from not acting out.
✔ The benefits of using a sex toy are numerous including keeping kegel muscles toned and your libido fixed. You could sex toys like a pipedream to spice up your relationship and maintain your sex drive.
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Channel your energy
Some people derive great relief, pleasure, and pride from channeling their sexual energy into other things. This could mean doing something creative, physical, thrilling, or spiritual. Popular pursuits include long-distance running, dancing, learning the guitar, abseiling, DIY, cooking, yoga, and Tantra.
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Work on finding satisfying sex
High sex drives can be particularly tormenting for those who struggle to find sexual partners. I help such clients explore ways to build confidence, improve how they relate to others (including being open, curious and complimentary without seeming creepy), discover ways to meet possible sexual partners — for example online, on courses, or at Meetup events — and learn ways to have sex with someone they might care about, which usually involves embracing the wonderful realities of non-pornified human nature.
Hook up sites, sex parties or sex professionals can help some people satisfy their urges but they aren’t always sustainable solutions for people with high sex drives. They don’t always guarantee sex – let alone satisfying sex. They may also go against the person’s moral compass, lead to overspending or preclude intimacy.
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Work through relationship issues
Some high sex drive people in monogamous relationships frequently beg their partner for sex. This is a very bad form. It’s not sexy and, whether or not they give in, can kill off whatever sexual feelings their partner has for them, as even tender affection is viewed as a hopeful route to sex.
When couples with mismatched libidos come to me, I ask them both what they wish their sex life would look like. Sometimes it’s helpful to schedule times to connect and be intimate. During these times they could choose to do things like go on a date, have a top half only make-out session, be naked without worrying about being aroused (maybe holding each other or having a bath), or having sex.
I’ve heard clients with higher libidos argue that they are allowed to have sex outside the relationship. While open relationships can work, it’s best when it’s seen as an exciting thing that both partners can participate in.
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Take something to lower your sexual urges
If your sexual urges are occupying your every waking thought and becoming problematic, there are a few things you can take to decrease your sex drive:
Anaphrodisiacs: Just as aphrodisiacs such as oysters or chocolate are said to enhance the libido, anaphrodisiacs are said to dull it. There are several food ingredients, herbs, and supplements that fall into this category including soy, liquorice, chaste berry, hops, and wild lettuce.
Antidepressants: Selective serotine reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the most commonly prescribed antidepressants and can cause the highest frequency of sexual dysfunction, followed by monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) and then tricyclic antidepressants. Antidepressants can cause decreased sex drive, delayed or absent orgasm, and ejaculatory disturbances. Consequently, these same drugs are commonly prescribed to help men overcome premature ejaculation.
Change your medication: If your medication is causing you to feel more aroused than usual, it may be possible to change your medication or lower the dosage – enough to take the edge of the urges but still to help what whatever it is you are taking it for. Always seek medical advice before changing your medication.
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Take herbs
Herbs have long been used to help with physical, mental, and emotional problems. Chaste Tree Berry, also called Monk’s Pepper or Cloister Pepper, historically was used to help monks maintain their celibacy. Some people use licorice to reduce testosterone
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Drink tea:
Some teas can help with lowering testosterone and sex drive. Spearmint tea and licorice tea are herbal teas that can help reduce testosterone. Find a medicinal-grade tea and brew as indicated.
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Watch your fat intake.
Carefully watch your diet and your saturated fat intake. Saturated fat can positively affect libido and testosterone production. Get some blood tests to see where your cholesterol is at, and make some substitutions if need be.
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Distract yourself
If your sex drive is distracting you and you can’t focus on what you need to do, find a small distraction. Go on a walk, paint, read, or write. Put your attention to something else. Distract your mind or distract your body by focusing on other things.
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Exercise
If your body is tense, get moving. Go to the gym or exercise. Do some yoga or more vigorous exercise such as kickboxing. Moving your body can help you distract it for the moment. However, be mindful that exercise can increase testosterone production, so be careful in how often and how intense your workouts are.
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Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a way to tune into your own bodily sensations. While you might turn off your mind for meditation, you want to focus it in mindfulness. If you’re focused mostly on your sexual organs, perform a body scan, and attend to each area of your body, from head to toe. Focus on your senses instead of your thoughts or sexual feelings.
- Tune in to one sense at a time. For example, take a moment and really listen. Hear the birds chirp with a deep reflective thought and fully turn your attention to what sounds exist around you.
Use relaxation. Find some healthy outlets for stress, such as relaxation. Handling stress on a regular basis can help you cope with increasing sexual tensions and deal with them daily. Instead of letting tensions mount, practice relaxation for 30 minutes each day to help you deal with buildups of stress and by this seek for sleek satisfying toy objects.
Conclusion
Everybody has their standard libido. If your sex drive drops from that standard, you’re experiencing low libido. If your sex drive increases from that standard, you’re experiencing high libido. An out of control sexuality can also be hard for those around you. You may think you are fine, but your boss, your partner, or your mates might fear that you are spending too much time in the pursuit of sex. Either these people don’t understand you, or you are in denial about your problematic relationship with sex. While increased sexual desire is perfectly normal for young people experiencing hormonal surges, if you are older, a number of other factors can impact your sex drive. Your sexual behavior could be having a negative impact on other areas of your life, such as your health, relationships, work if not properly handled.
References
Eric Berne, A Layman’s Guide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis (1976) p. 69 and 101
Bala, Areeg; Nguyen, Hoang Minh Tue; Hellstrom, Wayne J. G. (2018-01-01). “Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction: A Literature Review”. Sexual Medicine Reviews. 6 (1): 29–34
Burrows, Lara J.; Basha, Maureen; Goldstein, Andrew T. (2012-09-01). ‘’The Effects of HormonalContraceptives on Female Sexuality: A Review’’ The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Reconceiving the second sex Marcia Claire Inhorn – 2009.
by Nonso Amadi | Jun 15, 2020 | Articles, Blogs, Relationship
Porn, Masturbation, and Faking Orgasm
Do you know that most love partners do strange things when they are alone? Have you ever wondered if your love partner has some sex secrets he or she keeps from you? Of course, in every relationship/marriage, there is always a sex secret from both partners. But, do not be worried, this interesting article will enlighten you on 3 Sex Secrets we keep from our partners, reasons for the secrets, and as well expose you to some educating implication of the sex secrets we keep from our love partners.
Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. Physical and emotional aspects of sexuality include bonds between individuals that are expressed through profound feelings or physical manifestations of love, trust, and care. Sexual lives are meant to be kept secret because it is a crucial aspect of human existence most especially in the contemporary society.
It is a fact that everyone does strange things when they’re alone; it’s totally normal as we rile on life. The display of some sexual behaviours trending today which includes pornography, masturbation, and faking orgasm, exists in the lives of singles and couples. An exposure to one’s sexual life causes more harm than good. It won’t be helpful to your partner in any way, so they don’t need to know about it. Exposing these three sexual behaviour leads to frustration and will be unsupportive and hurtful to your partner as in the case of married couples.
Porn as a Sex Secret
Pornography companies and websites seem to be the most visited among youths in this contemporary period. Millions of people visit websites because of one reason or the other especially when they are alone. But, it is not a condemning act as there are some benefits of watching porn, as well as demerits.
Porn is a pornographic work. Pornography (often shortened to porn) is the portrayal of sexual subject matter for the exclusive purpose of sexual arousal. Pornography may be presented in a variety of media, including magazines, animation, writing, film, video, and video games. The primary subjects of present-day pornographic depictions are pornographic models, who pose for still photographs, and pornographic actors who engage in filmed sex acts.
Various groups within society have considered depictions of a sexual nature immoral, addictive, and noxious, labeling them pornographic, and attempting to have them suppressed under obscenity laws, censored or made illegal. Such grounds, and even the definition of pornography, have differed in various historical, cultural, and national contexts.
Benefits of Pornography
- It relieves stress
Just like every other stress-relieving tactic, people tend to watch pornography just to relieve stress. Life can be stressful, and from my experience, owning a stress ball does not make the complicated twists and turns any easier to deal with.
- It could benefit your relationship
Watching porn with your partner can open both of your minds to new sexual possibilities.
- Watching porn may decrease aggressive tendencies.
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The Demerits of pornography
- The guilt and mistrust about pornography can tear a marriage apart.
- Turning to pornography may cause your spouse to withdraw from the real relationship because of the instant gratification one receives from it.
- Pornography could make it difficult for one of the partners to view sex as a loving form of communication.
Masturbation as a Sex Secret
Masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm (sexual climax). It is commonly done by touching, stroking, or massaging the penis or clitoris until an orgasm is achieved. Some women also use stimulation of the vagina to masturbate or use “sex toys,” such as Lelo Sona.
Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have a sex partner. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females. In young children, masturbation is a normal part of the growing child’s exploration of his or her body. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.
Why Do People Masturbate?
In addition to feeling good, masturbation is a good way of relieving the sexual tension that can build up over time, especially for people without partners or whose partners are not willing or available for sex. Masturbation also is a safe sexual alternative for people who wish to avoid pregnancy and the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.
It also is necessary when a man must give a semen sample for infertility testing or for sperm donation. When sexual dysfunction is present in an adult, masturbation may be prescribed by a sex therapist to allow a person to experience an orgasm (often in women) or to delay its arrival (often in men).
Is Masturbation Normal?
While it once was regarded as a perversion and a sign of a mental problem, masturbation now is regarded as a normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable, and safe. It is a good way to experience sexual pleasure and can be done throughout life.
Masturbation is only considered a problem when it inhibits sexual activity with a partner, is done in public, or causes significant distress to the person. It may cause distress if it is done compulsively or interferes with daily life and activities.
Faking Orgasm as a Sex Secret
Women fake orgasms more frequently than men, with one survey finding that 26 percent of women fake an orgasm every time they have sex. Other studies have found that anywhere from 25 to 74% of women admit to having faked an orgasm at some point in their lives. This is more than the 25 percent of women who report consistently having an orgasm during coitus.
Women tend to achieve orgasm during intercourse less readily than men because most women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm and not all sexual positions provide access to the clitoris, which often makes orgasms difficult to achieve for women. For women in heterosexual relationships, faking an orgasm can also be based on deference to the man, need for his approval, or feelings of shame or sexual inadequacy.
Orgasm is not always achieved easily during sexual activity and due to this effect, some women especially make use of sex toys like iOrgasm Oval and Pink Duo to remedy the situation. For both sexes, the condition of being unable to orgasm during sex is called anorgasmia; it can be caused by a variety of factors, including factors in one’s life such as stress, anxiety, depression, or fatigue, as well as factors related to the sex itself; including worry, guilt, fear of painful intercourse, fear of pregnancy, the undesirability of a partner, and the undesirability of a setting. It can also be caused by drug use, including alcohol and other substances, or side effects from prescription drugs
People can fake orgasms for a number of reasons, such as when their partner wants them to orgasm but they are unable, or when they desire to stop having sex but are not comfortable telling their partner directly, avoiding negative consequences, or for pleasing their partner.
So, then, dear ladies and gentlemen, feel the pleasure in the very marrow of your bones; share it fairly with your lover, say pleasant, naughty things in a while. And if Nature has withheld from you the sensation of pleasure, then teach your lips to lie and say you feel it all. Unhappy is the woman who feels no answering thrill. But, if you have to pretend, don’t betray yourself by over-acting. Let your movements and your eyes combine to deceive us, and, gasping, panting, complete the illusion.
People can also fake orgasms for reasons of display or presentation, such as during phone sex or in pornography.
Feminists have asserted that women faking orgasms is a sign of male-centered sexuality; in a society that celebrates only male sexual pleasure, women may feel pressured to engage in acts that bring their male partners to orgasm but that do not provide them physical pleasure.
Evolutionary Perspective
From an evolutionary perspective, females might fake orgasms in order to signal fidelity to a male partner, particularly if he is of low-genetic quality. If a female has sex with many partners (employing a polygamous mating strategy) her aim may be to secure benefits from multiple males, such as resources, whilst aiming to only reproduce with males of high genetic quality.
A true orgasm is known to increase the number of sperm carried to the uterus post-male orgasm (suggesting reproductive benefits) and has suggested pair-bonding benefits.
Conclusion
Sex is not limited in intercourse or physical contact; it is anything you do to yourself or someone else does to you that causes you to be sexually aroused. Sexual feeling or urge is natural. As we grow physically and mature the thought of sex and sexual feeling comes upon us naturally. Sexual urge is one of the first signs of maturity in young people.
At a point in all our lives, we begin to sense sexual realities in thought, within us and towards opposite sex4. It is a mysterious feeling i.e. strange, difficult to understand, and causing curiosity). Ever so often, what we see and hear around us (physical or pictorially) tends to arouse or stir wrong sexual feelings and drive within us. Unlike in the case of beast or animals, “man” tends to have a natural restraining capacity into unhealthy sexual pressure – and that to a large extent brings the consciousness of keeping our sex lives secret.
Having a healthy sex life means knowing what you do and don’t want to do sexually and being able to communicate that to your partners. Your partner should respect your boundaries, and you should respect theirs.
References
- Abbott D, Howarth J. Still off-limits, Staff views on supporting gay, lesbian, and bisexual people with intellectual disabilities to develop sexual and intimate relationships. J Appl Res Intellect Disabil. 2007;20:116–26.
- Akers A, Gold MA, Borrero S, Santucci A, Schwarz EB. Providers’ perspectives on challenges to contraceptive counselling in primary care settings. J Women’s Health (Larchmt). 2010; 19(6):1163–70.
- Andrist L. Taking a sexual history and educating clients about safe sex. Nurs Clin North Am. 1988.
- Applications of human rights to reproductive and sexual health. New York (NY): United Nations Population Fund and Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights; 2001. [28 January 2015].
- A qualitative review of psychosocial support interventions for young people living with HIV. Geneva: World Health Organization; 2009. [28 January 2015].
- Atalla E. Physician’s attitudes regarding sexual dysfunction management’
- [dissertation]. Perth, Australia: Curtin University of Technology; 2009.
- Baldwin DS. Depression and sexual dysfunction. Br Med Bull. 2001;57:81–99.
- Baldwin DS, Foong T. Antidepressant drugs and sexual dysfunction. Br J Psychiatry. 2013;202:396–97.
- Benoit C, Millar A. Short report: dispelling myths and understanding realities: working conditions, health status, and exciting experiences of sex workers. Victoria, Canada: University of Victoria and Prostitutes Empowerment, Education and Resource Society; 2001.
by Pereere Smart | May 18, 2020 | Blogs
Introduction
The center focus of the free market economy is that the demand and supply chain does not have the government exercising overt control. There is a strong agreement between scholars of this ideology that production should be a thing for private entities.
Definition of Free-market Economy
In definition, a free-market economy is a system where individuals have the freedom to produce goods and services as demanded by the market system with little or no government control. In a free-market structure, those who are willing to take articulated risks to respond to the market demand, offering creative inventions are highly rewarded.
Scholars’ Contribution to Free-market Economy
In contributing to this theory, different scholars have elaborated research works to broaden the scope of its study. Ayn Rand and Adam Smith are very influential among this group and are seen as one of the best crusaders of free-market thinking. Rand is a supporter of Adam Smith’s “Laissez-faire” which means to allow government remove their hands from the market; and rather play the role of a well-meaning government which is to uphold justice, law, and order.
In comparing and contrasting, both Adam Smith and Ayn Rand supported the free-market economy. For Rand, her conception of the inalienable natural rights informed her belief that private property must be protected. While for Smith, private property protections could be overridden given peculiar instances.
From the perspective of Ayn Rand, the role of government is to protect the rights of persons, therefore such – and only such should they do inadequately providing security for the property rights of individuals. She believes that the phrase every “common good” is a “meaningless concept”, she said that man is in a relationship voluntarily.
She was one who held a strong opinion of rationalism being is the only thing capitalism demands of an individual because according to her it is only rational people that get rewarded by capitalism.
The main features of Ayn Rand’s position
- Intrinsic; she was a believer in the notion that ‘good’ is inherent in individuals and their actions. Therefore they should be left to exhibit that intrinsic nature
- Subjectivism: Ayn Rand viewed all values to originate from man’s consciousness and not some involuntary relationships and actions.
- Objectivism: to Rand, good is an evaluation of reality by consciousness. The individual, in taking decision on what is felt to be good, basis opinion on what the conscious reality is.
Rand maintained that no other economic system apart from capitalism {free market} has profited mankind. According to her, the free market is the only morally valid socio-political system that allows people the freedom to act maximizing self-interest.
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Adam Smith Position on Free Market Economy
Popular for his work, “Wealth of Nations”, Adam Smith opined that the central pillars of the market system are:
- Exchange of processes,
- Privatization goods and services
- Economic value systems
- Self-interest
- The invisible hand
- Economic role of the producers, consumers, investors, and employees
- the sovereignty of the consumer
- Profit and rewards
- Institutionalizing business
- The operating principles of efficiency, productivity, and growth.
For Smith, the father of Economics, the invisible hand speaks of the division of labor and the pursuance of self-interest as the main human motivation. He opined that for the maximization of profit and goods and services, effective and efficient production is gotten through individuals working on the basis of.
Adam Smith emphasized, the sovereignty of the consumer in the free market because they have their purchasing power.
Similarities Between the Free-market Economy Postulations of Adam Smith and Ayn Rand
There is quite an obvious similarity between Adam Smith and Ayn Rand’s ideas on the subject. Some of their similarities are highly to be;
- Their focus on the running of an economy by individuals and not the government.
- The two parties so much believe in the ability of individuals to work out things by themselves without any form of interference. To them government meddling in production is a hitch in the economic growth of, not only an individual, but the society as large.
Difference Between Adam Smith and Ayan Rand’s viewpoint
A closer assessment of the postulations of these two scholars will reveal some dissimilarities, even though, to some great extent, they look quite the same on the surface
The difference between the two ideas is that Adam Smith based his argument on individuals building themselves economically and the government continuing to play a diminishing role until there is out rightly no role played by the government.
On the other hand, Ayn Rand dwelt more on negating the efforts of the government towards her citizens economically. She was vehemently stated that the government had nothing to offer economic wise, therefore it should take their hands off the economic life of the state.
In conclusion, the free market encourages that individuals champion the production of goods and services.
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by Pereere Smart | May 17, 2020 | Blogs
Revenue generation of local government in Nigeria is principally derived from the statutory allocation “a direct share of the local government from the federation account and tax, a compulsory levy imposed by government on individuals and cooperate bodies for the various legitimate functions of the state.
Sources of Revenue
- The size of the Local Government Area: when the local government is large in terms of territorial and population size, diverse and rich in revenue resources, it should be allocated rich and adequate sources of revenue which enables it to cope with developmental problems of a large area.
- The scope of functions allocated to the local government: where the local government is allocated diverse functions, some of which are large in scope like education, the revenue sources to be provided should correspondingly be large in scope.
- The philosophy/policy of the national government on the role of local government towards community development
The local government has two major revenue sources :
- External sources of revenue
- Internal sources of revenue
External Sources
This refers to statutory revenue allocation, loans, and grants from the federal and state government. The external sources are classified as follows:
- Statutory Allocation: it is the constitutional entitlement of the local government from the federation account.
- Loans and other forms of borrowing: the local government can take a loan or borrow from the state (federal government in as much as the procedure for this process is not circumvented.
- Grants: it is a financial aid that is given by the federal or state government and other financial institutions to enable it to discharge its donations from outsiders. There are four classes of Grant
- Block Grant: it is a financial assistance given by the central or state government to the local government to facilitate the execution of their projects and programs effectively.
- Specific Grant: this is budgeted money given to the local government by the state/central government for a specific project or service.
- Equalization Grant: this grant is paid as an aid to a less economically privileged local government whose revenue will not be enough to finance and maintain a particular essential service.
- Matching Grand: this is a percentage of money given to cover part of the total amount of a project.
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Internal Sources
Internal sources are usually referred to as internally generated revenue within the area of jurisdiction of the local government. They include:
- Rate: a rate is a tax levied on an individual person. Rate is an important source of internally generated revenue of the local government. Special rate is generally imposed for priority projects which the local government has inadequate funds to provide.
- Fees and charges: these are levies charged by the local government on certain services which it provides.
- Earnings and profits: it is the money realized from local government commercial ventures and industries establishment.
Problems of Revenue Generation in the Local Government System
- Misappropriation of funds and corruption: these mongo the local government revenue collectors deprive their local governments of a substantial amount of revenue which could have accrued them.
- Poverty: the local government revenue generation capacity will be abysmally poor due to people’s taxable capability.
- Lack of entrepreneurial and professional skills and training: the management of local government lacks foresight, innovative, and investment skills.
Strategies for enhancing Local Government Revenue Generation Capacity
- Good infrastructure: it is a sure criterion for increasing local government revenue generation capacity.
- Local government staff motivation: motivation of staff is the willingness to expend energy in order to achieve a goal.
- Establishment of profit yielding projects: local government should see it as a matter of necessity to establish projects like housing, agriculture, modern markets.
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